Frank and Brad Separation
by Charlotte Thompson
Summary: Brad is conservative and Frank is liberal. This can only end in tears. (And a song from My Fair Lady)


Brad was sitting once again with his Republican newspaper in front of him. Frank noticeably rolled his eyes before getting his newspaper.  
"Another peace riot broken up. Those poor innocent kids. I would join them, but I think I would only make their movement more progressive. I feel like I would be a cop magnet." Frank explained.  
"Well, they should cut their hair and get some jobs." Brad answered. He added. "Even forty years down the line there will still be racial struggles. Why mess with the system?"  
Frank sighed. "How could you have fucked a transvestite and for a good twenty-four hours lost all your morals only to come back to the wrong ones?" Frank asked.  
Brad answered. "I just don't understand the whole thing with it."  
Frank sighed. He turned on some Ramones and took off his robe to reveal a corset and fishnets. He sat with his legs crossed over the chair arm. The song was I Wanna Be Sedated. A feeling Frank had had multiple times.  
Brad glanced up. "Users are losers."  
"Then you are living with the biggest loser who ever walked." Frank answered. Brad awkwardly turns to his newspaper.  
Frank sat down again and looked at his newspaper. "Ugh. More people dying over this senseless war. More poor young men getting killed..." His voice drifted.  
"Well, at least we are stopping those goddamn terrorists." Brad said, not taking his eyes off the paper.  
Frank sighed. "And you seem to be perfectly fine with living with a Democrat. Your parents would be so disappointed. You aren't a hypocrite at all, Brad." Frank said with a mock caring voice.  
"I assumed as much. But I will make you more appealable to society, no matter how long it takes." Brad answered, flipping a page. Frank stood up, appalled.  
"I am not the one who is changing. YOU aren't honest with yourself. The sooner you can learn you will never be able to return to your cookie cutter world the better! Or maybe you should try! Try being gay in that world! You won't last a day."  
"I can fake straight like I always have. Marry Janet and pray to god I can talk her out of wanting kids or think of someone else long enough." Brad explained.  
"Are you serious?" Frank asked.  
"I could stand going back right about now." Brad answered.  
"UGH!" Frank exclaimed before storming off into his room.  
Brad thought about it. He looked through the newspaper. This is what he knew. All he knew were white angry men telling hippies to cut their hair and get jobs, or protesting against black kids going to school. Brad shrugged.  
Frank planted his face into his pillow and tried not to cry. Magenta asked "Vhat did Brad do?"  
"He said he would go back." Frank answered. "If you tell him I swear to god I will kill you but I love him."  
Magenta knew it was serious, because he never said he loved anyone. Magenta asked "Did you just say vhat I thought?"  
"I wouldn't be trying to tirelessly work out the Republican of him if I didn't." Frank answered.  
Riffraff came in. "Master, Brad, I think, left."  
Frank started bawling. "He was the one! And I blew it! Why didn't I start him off with the Beatles? Punk is for people who already like rock! Speaking of drugs I need wine and a cigarette. Oh and bring me my leather jacket. I need some armor." Frank exclaimed.  
Riffraff got the wine and his jacket. Magenta got the cigarette pack and a lighter. Frank turned. His makeup looked like it melted mainly off his face and onto his pillow. He put on his jacket and drank his wine. Magenta stroked his hair. "You are the king of break ups. For all you know, Brad stepped out to clear his head."  
Frank shook his head "He always leaves a note, so I don't worry. Riffraff donnes-moi l'écharpe s'il vous plaît." Frank was really sad when he asked for things politely in French. Riffraff threw him the scarf he asked for. "Merci." Frank answered, wrapping up in the scarf. "I would do anything for love but I refuse to become a Republican." Frank answered.  
"Monarchies are so much easier. I can't vait to rule Transylvania vith Riffraff." Magenta explained.  
Frank took a big swig of wine before bawling into the pillow again.  
"Don't cry for Transylvania. The truth is they will never leave you." Riffraff said in a singsongy way, stroking his hair.  
"But Brad still did. I would have fought tooth and nail for that planet if he hadn't given me a reason to stay." Frank mentioned, wiping the tears away with his sleeve. Magenta grabbed a box of Kleenex. "If he goes off with Janet, you have Rocky." Magenta reminded.  
"He doesn't like me."  
"It didn't stop you before."  
"I want Brad." Frank protested.  
Speaking of Brad, he walked off. "I forgot to write a note." He noticed as he was far enough away he could see the Denton Home of Happiness signs. They were all over the place. There is even one in a graveyard. He shrugged.  
Then he thought about Frank. There was only one song to sing. "Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! I've grown accustomed to his face. He almost makes the day begin. I've grown accustomed to the tune that he whistles night and noon. His smiles his frowns his ups his downs are second nature to me now. Like breathing out and breathing in. I was serenely independent and content before we met. Surely I could always be that way again. But I've grown accustomed to his looks, accustomed to his voice, accustomed to his face." Brad knew he could never go back.  
Janet just so happened to be standing there. "Is that you Brad?" She asked. She looked very different. She looked like Frank dressed her. He missed Frank looking at his ex in a corset.  
"Are you a...?" Brad asked.  
"Prostitute? Yes. I work at the strip club. Ralph is a regular. I love it. So sue me. Rocky has been modeling all over the place. He said he will be back in a couple weeks. He knows I am a prostitute. Do I blame Frank? A little." Janet explained.  
Brad asked "Does the town know?"  
"Oh yes. When we try to have a family that will be very hard." Janet answered.  
Brad sighed. "Well, Frank is winning at least two battles today."  
"What?"  
"Well, my move back to Denton plan failed and now I miss him enough to jump off a building for him."  
"Even turn democratic?" Janet asked.  
"If he shows me his side." Brad answered. He sat on the grass. "I can't break it. I need to apologize."  
"Oh my god! Brad you can apologize?"  
"I don't do it often." He answered.  
Janet asked "Will you loan money to a prostitute?"  
Brad sighed. "I forgot my wallet. Frank usually sees my note and where I left my wallet then stays on the front porch and waves it in front of me when I get back from my walk. I always forget it. Frank always forgets anything that doesn't fit in his purse." Brad answered.  
Janet said "Go to him. He loves you more than his home planet."  
Brad ran. Frank was still crying in his room. Brad dug through Frank's CDs for the one with the Hendrix version of the Star Spangled Banner. He found it and played it. He rushed upstairs to him. The elevator was too slow.  
Frank cocked his head a bit. Magenta and Riffraff were in the room with Frank. He took a puff of his cigarette.  
"That may be Brad's way of apologizing." Riffraff pointed out.  
Brad opened the door. "I am a total idiot. I got nowhere."  
"It took you long enough to sing I've Grown Accustomed to His Face, the only part you actually like then talk to Janet who became a stripper." Frank answered.  
"And you got your armor jacket, your favorite hippie scarf, some vices and bawled. I am sort of surprised I didn't get a French expletive when I walked in." Brad noted.  
"I would but asshole is the same in French." Frank explained.  
"I must admit. That was very jerkish. I... I... I am sorry." Brad answered.  
Frank smiled. "I am sorry too." He pointed out. Brad touched Frank's face.  
"Do you have any book explaining why I should be a Democrat?" Brad asked. Frank handed him a book about the history of the United States from a modern Democratic point of view. Brad took Frank's book.  
Brad smiled and kissed Frank's forehead.  
Frank shook his head. "I missed you way too much my love. You have to give your significant other a real kiss." Brad smiled. He kissed Frank. Riffraff and Magenta left.  
Frank asked "Book or me?"  
"I know the book will make you really happy later." Brad answered. Frank nodded.  
"And you can look at my newspaper." Brad answered.  
"Can I make cookies instead and read Love Story for the fiftieth time?" Frank asked.  
Brad asked "Weren't you on a Breakfast at Tiffany's kick?"  
Frank nodded. "But I just broke a big rule of love according to Love Story."  
"Oh well. I am sorry." Brad answered.  
"I am sorry too." Frank responded.  
"Why?"  
"I don't know. Any things I may have done in the past I am sorry for."  
"I lo..." Brad started. Frank put his finger on his lips.  
"Still not ready to tell you." Frank answered.  
"I don't deserve it quite yet." Brad noted.  
"Love doesn't come often." Frank specified. "I told Columbia she was incorrigible for three years."  
"I am very corrigible." Brad answered.  
Frank smiled "I... I... I need to go make cookies." He was going to try for an I love you but it didn't come out right. Brad followed Frank, reading while walking about Hamilton and Jefferson. Frank made Brad's favorite and was trying to figure out how and when he was going to be able to say it. He shrugged and while waiting on the cookies, got Love Story and leaned on Brad's shoulder.  
"I missed you."  
"I will never ever ever leave you." Brad assured.  
"Again."  
"Ok, again. I love you." Brad answered.  
"I love..." Frank recognized how close he was and said "your company."  
"Close enough." Brad answered, kissing his head.


End file.
